We’re approaching Valentine’s Day and yes, your timeline will be flooded with grand gestures, odes to love, and romanticized memories. It can definitely get you in your feels whether they’re positive or negative. However, we can change the narrative this year and make it an experience to grow from. This month and here on out we can dedicate a moment to give ourselves the self love and compassion we may otherwise overlook.
I’m a serious advocate about loving yourself because it was and is the root to a lot of my baggage and trauma I’m in my process of letting go. This process had to start with being able to love what I saw in the mirror staring back at me. I didn’t love that reflection but I had to start. I had to show compassion for how I was treating myself. I had to rid the guilt, shame, and pity that I was seeing whenever I looked at myself. I had to start by speaking my worth into the universe and not undervaluing me. Some may call it ‘Affirmations’.
Affirmations, defined by Google’s Oxford Languages, is the action of affirming something or being affirmed; Emotional support or encouragement. To affirm, is to simply state that it is true. It’s been stated that speaking positive in regards to yourself and believing it to be fact, has had positive outcomes in people's lives. I can confirm that thinking, acting and speaking positively has made positive effects in my life. That’s why it was important to start viewing myself in a positive light. I had to start telling myself you are beautiful with your natural hair. You are sexy with your fupa. You are intelligent with your improper grammar.
Because mental affirmations worked well for me I decided I wanted to give my readers some visual affirmations to remind you all how it’s important to love yourself. I decided to make digital affirmation cards that speak your worth into the universe, so you can see how it will change the way you see yourself and love yourself. And you’ll be able to keep these cards on your mobile device as a screensaver or for a nice decor in your office, home or work space; to remind you who you are.
On Valentine’s Day I decided to do a 14 Self Love Challenge, where I dedicate each day to express love and gratitude to myself. See the thing you have to keep in mind about affirmations is… it won’t be effective unless you…
BE HONEST
In order for your affirmations to work you have to be honest with yourself. If you despise the way you look then you’re going to have to admit it. You’re going to also have to admit why you feel that way. So now when you speak on your affirmations you can say it and mean it. You don’t have to worry about that little naggy voice in the back of your mind making you doubt yourself. By confronting and unpacking those feelings you can now let that nagging voice leave because you know it isn’t real. You’re now ready to set your affirmations with confidence and conviction, into the world. Now watch how that same energy returns back to you.
BE INTENTIONAL
I speak a lot about intentions because it has a lot to do with how we make things happen in our lives. It’s funny, because when I looked up the definition of intention, the second definition
defined it as “the healing process of a wound”. The parallelism of doing something “purposeful” to a “healing process” is so symbolic to me. I mean you have to be very intentional in healing yourself from whatever traumas and pain you’ve encountered in life. If you’re affirming that you deserve love then that has to be your purpose, your plan to carry yourself and move as if you deserve love. Basically, what you’re affirming has to align with how you carry it out or simply put..your actions. You can’t just say it and not mean it because you won’t see the results you’re expecting. Think of it like the old saying goes “Prayer without works is dead”. We can pray all day but if we aren’t doing the work to make our situation better, it’s counterproductive.
BE CONSISTENT
Although I’m starting the 14 Days of Self Love Challenge, it doesn’t stop there. This is a never ending journey. Some days will be rougher than others but you have to keep going. If you think about how we practice affirmations you can correlate why consistency is key. You repeat these affirmations to yourself repeatedly and sometimes more than once a day. You’re constantly reminding yourself who you are until you know who you are. So what you affirm to yourself you have to actively work towards seeing the outcome, daily. Even if you fall off, don’t give up! Just get back up and proceed to pick up where you left off. There's no finish line to this so there isn’t any rush. Just keep going.
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