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Black Culture| BET's Finding Nivea and where she's been


If you aren't familiar with Ms. "Don't mess with my man" or "Laundromat", you might me know her as "Lil Wayne" and "Dream's" baby mother. I cringe at the thought of that being her claimed to fame because she was Nivea before she became the mother to their children. It has been awhile, however, since we heard anything from her besides finding out years after her career that she was married to singer/songwriter The Dream.

So it was quite surprising running up on her on Facebook Watch with a BET's Digital Original episode called Finding Nivea. I was quite intrigued to hear some of her story so I definitely tuned in. Although I must admit at first I was a bit taken back when I initially started watching her and could hear a bit of a slur in her speech and facial expression. My first thought was "mmmm somethings not right". Then I went into the comments and saw all of the comments that was suggesting she was on drugs, she was "Bobby Brown-ish" and the list goes on.

I quickly tuned back in and continued to listen to her story and really troubled me. I can tell that she was clearly hurting about how certain incidents transpired in her life. One thing that really struck a cord is when she spoke about the guilt of being a mother and feeling as though you sacrificed your dream and passion.

She spoke about how people made the assumption that she really didn't give her all for her career but she didn't want to sacrifice her children's ability to have a normal life (being that their fathers are big celebrities and it requires them to be gone quite often) while she's pursing her dreams when "they didn't ask to be here".

It all was really heavy and I could understand myself trying to be a mother without feeling the guilt of pursing your dreams. I mean where are the fathers? Why wouldn't they be the support she needed? Well, these are my thoughts, and she didn't really speak in depth about their roles but I could see how this has strained on her heart and soul.

So it all made sense to me and I was no longer taken back but my heart was heavy and then I began to feel bad how she was getting backlash in the comments. I even took to the comments myself to say, we don't know what she's going through or been through. Though I did come across an old TMZ report about her crashing her car in a tree and getting a DUI.

However I wasn't judgmental, rather than understanding because I know my troubles and struggles and this could have easily been me. Regardless where she use to be or who the father to her children are, she's still a human, a black woman who deal with the same struggles any black woman being a mother deals with.

We aren't perfect and we aren't always strong and when you don't have the support system you need, it can easily go downhill. I don't know what is the root of her issues but I felt that stigma of trying to be superwoman when you become a mother or just being a black woman period. I can see she's trying to come out of it and my prayers are with her and her future endeavors. However, I do feel like we shouldn't be so judgmental in the black community and be understanding. Understand that we all have woes and go through things. Some intense than other.

Black women are the least priority in the black community and are always looked to keep it all together. We should be supporting and lifting this sister up instead of tearing her down. Check out her story above and listen to what she has to say first.

I wish you the best Nivea and hope you continue pushing.

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