Communication is the key!: What Insecure season 4 is trying to tell us.
So I don't know about anyone else but I'm all the way here for this season of Insecure. Issa and her writer's definitely made up for an entire year of us being in the "???" space but I get it, sis had to channel her time for other endeavors.
However, I digress as usual. What I'm really unpacking is how there's a common undertone that goes throughout this season so far. Something so valuable that we allow it to roll off of our tongues, so matter of factly, with no regards to how important it is in any relationship or interaction with another being.
We say the cliche line like a famous jingle we've heard on television over and over again until it's habitual but is it substantial? Let's all say it in unison like we're in a group therapy session, "Communication is the key...to any relationship (if you really wanted to add specifics). However, as cliche as it sounds it's honestly true. Like, isn't most cliches true, but as we speak it I don't believe we actually take the time to understand how to communicate.
In the terms of Insecure, the writers show you different relationships that clearly have a communication barrier. Whether it's Issa vs Molly, Lawrence vs Condola, Molly vs Andrew and even Tiffany and her husband Dereck; it constantly shows us various issues that these characters face based on communication barriers or the lack thereof. This, however, gives opportunity by showing us the relatability in each character with how each one chooses to communicate or tries I should say. That in turn, shows us as people how often time we do have a serious problem when it comes to expressing or communicating our thoughts and feeling to one another. As well as, not knowing how to be effective listeners, which is also a form of communication.
As important as something such as communicaction is, no one gave much thought to teaching us how to, besides the basic fundamentals. I mean I won't dimfinish teaching you how to read, write, comprehend; but it definitely should have surpassed even that. Communication isn't just the words that come of our mouth but the context of what we're saying. It's understanding body language, vocal tones and though some maybe reading this right now like, "we're NOT speech specialist and psychologist, but just to know the basis of those things could definitely help. A simple hug and greeting for one person can feel rather invasive to someone else but if you didn't pay attention to the way that person shoulder tensed and fist tighten you wouldn't know that a hug may be too much. Or even vise versa, if you just speak your peace to say Oh, forgive me if you take this the wrong way but I'm not comfortable hugging people as a greeting.; you could avoid that person trying to give you that hug on another occasion and you scrambling trying to find the right scapegoat to avoid the hug.
While Issa was feeling alone due to Lawrence's distance, Lawrence on the other hand was feeling alone to carry the burden of feeling like a failure. He felt he had no one to turn to and go to. Issa felt like she was in a relationship alone hence turning to someone who gave her the attention and engagement that she missed. Now, had they had the ability to communicate that earlier as effectively as the communicated now, who knows where their relationship could have resulted in. Maybe Lawrence could have expressed his feelings to Issa and in return, Issa would have felt present and needed but they failed to communicate and continued to ignore. If only, Molly and Issa could do the same.
Sometimes we allow the feeling of discomfort to play a role in having ineffective communication skills. Because we don't want to ruffle feathers and make waves, it comes off easier to push something under the rug and ignore it until it seeps it's way in the crevices of your relationship. Then other times we're not being effective listeners or actually paying attention to what someone wants or tries to communicate because they're not communicating the way we would. For instance Issa can tell Molly is irritated with her with the short responses or the unenthusiastic conversations, however she's reluctant to whatever confrontation that it'll present so she tries to constantly overlook Molly's passive aggressive interaction. Where as Molly could actually tell Issa what's bothering her but I tend to believe that Molly is use to Issa catering to her despite that she knows Issa doesn't like confrontation. So why put your friend in a position to feel uncomfortable by you?
I don't think either one really feels ill will towards each other but the lack of trying to listen and understand puts them in a disadvantage. Even with how Molly got upset with Andrew's brother. I don't believe Andrew's brother wanted to make Molly upset but he took their conversation as lighthearted and debatable where as for Molly it triggers something deeper.
It all comes back to how we communicate with one another. It brings light to how bad of communicators we truly are and how becoming effective with it will make relationships better among each other. It's more than just misunderstandings or someone just doesn't want to get it but maybe it's how it's given. However I'm all in to see how things transpire on the show and definitely want to see if Molly and Issa are able to break down some of their barriers as it relates to one another; and find a way to fix it or find closure where they can walk away in peace. Find a way where they can communicate their feelings without hangups.