Pivoting back and forth on various social media platforms, as I lay lazily listening to a faint croon of "Always in Kevin Samuels comments...". Feeling like a spectator as I see the, 'Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus' wars display on various posts. The "What do women bring to the table" conversations are exhausting me like when I was waiting on the paint on my living room wall to dry, . . before I added the second coat. The response to that question was even more deafening: "I cook, clean.....". As if that's the most valuable contributions we add to a man's life.
Cooking and cleaning, my dear, is a survival skill. If you can't cook, how do you eat? If you can't clean, how do you live? Unfortunately, I can understand a man's sentiment with that answer because...yes, we all should have the capabilities of at least doing that much for OURSELVES first. What's even saddening, is that my sisters don't see the value within themselves to be able to articulate what they bring to the table.
Due to the fact that most men operate externally, it's easy for them to see the results of the way they provide and protect. Men work to pay the bills to provide tangible stability. Men take to certain actions to ensure they can or will protect their loved ones. Simple. However, when it comes to speaking on what a woman brings to the table, we allow men to diminish what we offer because it's internalized. They aren't able to see an instant result to what we bring.
When a man directs a question to me about what a woman brings to the table. I state that we provide and protect too. Maybe not in an external way but very much so in an internal way. If you're cohabitating with a woman and you arrive home, but your home isn't the quiet from the everyday bustle and hustle of the world; maybe you should look a little deeper. Peace is priceless. Because women are internal beings we bring nurturing, feeling, awareness, intuition to our relationships.
We laugh at the meme or the running joke of if you want results with poor customer service put your wife or wifey on the phone. As trivial as it may be, that's the way we protect. Men wonder why it's hard for wifey to hold her tongue when family or friends try to take advantage of you... that's our protector mode. It's the mama bear in us. We don't like to see the men we love get taken advantage of or mistreated. So when that intuition in us tells us... don't trust your homeboy... he ain't shit; it's because we're protecting men from harm.
Being that I'm not a man, I can only give my perspective not the perspective. So I tend to think it's hard for men to be able to feel safe enough to feel vulnerable. It's been conditioned that men have to be strong and if they tap into their emotions it's a sign of weakness. When a woman provides a man the security and space to express his emotions, she's providing him a safe space. She's telling him it's okay to lean into me. It's okay to cry and feel without me emasculating you. She wants you to be able to come home and release the pressures of what society has placed on your back daily. She knows that you can't physically or externally provide and protect our household if you aren't okay internally.
I told my husband he was my provider and protector in this earthly realm and I was his provider and protector in this spiritual realm. We equally bring to the table what the other may not be as strong at or in. When my husband comes home I try to be aware of all the things he's up against and make his home a sacred place to unwind and be. Be all the things that society has told him he can't be. Show him his depth and capabilities. Show him what peace feels like and what love looks like.
In a conversation I had on "Energy Talk" with Empress Quetta Sheshatre: she discussed how women bring the life into this world. A woman will be the mother to his offspring; and the responsibility it takes and importance it holds is detrimental to his family structure. We offer so much more than cooking a meal and cleaning a house. We make it a home.
Women provide and protect too. We may not be Wonder Woman with a golden lasso but we will do what it takes to make sure you won't have harm come to you and that peace keeps you from feeling the weight of the world.