Hey Y'all! I'M BACK!!
I've been M.I.A with my written blogs but I've still been hitting you all with my vlogging content. Which, I see, you all haven't been watching either. But that's neither here nor there because I'm getting my self in order and prioritizing me first now.
Initially I had a break from writing my blogs because based on my analytics, no one was watching. So, I thought I'd shift back into my videos...which obviously didn't make much of a difference. And then I started to question, "Why am I doing this again?" That's when it dawned on me: You're doing this for you, Melissa. Writing and talking are both forms of my self expression.
That's the gift of this journey of self discovery; You find out these traits about yourself and it's able to help you navigate through the bouts of self doubt and uncertainty. I was so blinded with the outcome of getting you all to view and engage with my content that I stepped further away from who this truly is for and who this benefits most...ME. My blogging and vlogging is my memoir and video diary of my journey of self discovery. Me being transparent and sharing these intimate expressions is just a bonus.
With that being said, I'm apologizing to myself first, for being hard on me by telling myself I'm not doing enough based on my perception of what doing enough is. I'm giving my best every day and that doesn't mean doing it all; but it means to be present and intentional with the agenda or task at hand.
I also want to apologize to my audience and potential audience, for not being grateful and appreciative of who does read or watch my content. Or when you eventually take some time to out of your busy schedule to do so. Regardless of when you see this or how, you did never the less, and I thank you. I thank you for being patient and always sticking around for my many shifts and changes of trying to figure this out.
Now back to the lesson at hand. This Virgo season has definitely been giving me all the feels and I ain't necessarily saying the good ones. However, they weren't bad, just trying and challenging. It made be shift into ushering in a structure that got me out of my comfort zone. I'm putting things in order based on what deserves my love and attention to what's a distraction and promotes the anger and frustration in my life.
Keep in my mind my Sun is in Pisces and my Moon is in Virgo. These are two signs that are known for being quite the empaths; so when it comes to my own feelings it gets very intense. Hence, why I can't lean into my anger emotionally but rather strategically. It has to be in a way that puts enough fire into me to motivate me but not the driver of the motivation.
For example, I know that I want Bella Minded to be successful as a lifestyle brand and name. I know I'm not seeing the results that I'd like to see, too. Usually, I'd either fall back for a while or switch things up all together; possibly leading me further away from who Bella Minded is intented to be. This time, however, instead of my anger and frustration directing me into the same pitfalls of outward influence; I turned the anger to me and channeled it within.
"You don't get to blame anyone else, and you don't get to blame yourself. What you will do is....KEEP GOING. It doesn't look the way you want now but you're going to let go of the need to MAKE it look how you want but rather be in the moment and allow yourself to feel what it is. And what it is...is a journey. A journey with hills, valleys and plains. It's the ups and downs. It's the tired nights, the clouded visions, the frustrations that's followed with the great ideas, the innovations, the celebrations, the growth and the healing."
The New Moon has came with some tough realization but that's what I needed to get my shit in order.
The energy from the New Moon being in Virgo is showing me how STRUCTURE creates ORDER and with order comes self discipline, which is one of the highest form of Self LOVE. We're going to take that ANGER and help push us just enough to not take no shit, even from ourselves. I gave myself a reading with this New Moon. You're welcome to watch and see if you can relate.
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