REWIND|UPDATE: Black Women Have To Protect the Black Woman Too

Me as a black woman and speaking on the lack of being protected may come off a bit bias. However, there are statistics that confirm that the leading causes of black women's health issues is domestic violence, based on The Black Women's Health Project via BlackBurn Center. With that being said, it is imperative that we bring awareness to these events where black women are being murdered, raped, abused and kidnapped. And in most cases, it's by the hands of black men.

By no means am I speaking on black men collectively as to say that we're being abused, killed, etc by the hands of all black men (which I shouldn't have to say because if it doesn't apply to you then you shouldn't feel offended). However, as a community, we should hold each other accountable. Black men should take it as a responsibility to make sure the black women in their lives are protected from such.

When "Karens" cry out (typically because something isn't going their way.) white men, whether in uniform or not, make no excuse about protecting their white porcelain doll from the mean people in the world. Why do you think she uses calling the cops as a weapon? Why, because Karen knows that if any of her white male counterparts hear the slightest distress in her tone; they're off to save the day. Just call them Captain-Save-A-Karen. To white men, their white woman is the epitome of women. She's held on a pedestal where she's to be seen and not touched by any other race, especially the black race. I call it the Rosewood complex. If you've ever watched the movie Rosewood then you understand.

Regardless, I don't want to display the same type of biases like our white counterparts. I don't think we should cry wolf, and use "Protect The Black Woman" to our advantage, and even when we're wrong expect to get the same protection. We don't have to be like them but become better. However, having a founding loyalty is a start. Well, at least enough to where black women don't have to wonder if ANY man will come to her defense. By the same logic, women have to be willing to protect ourselves and each other.

When you look at these human trafficking cases African American rank at 40 percent; and most of these victims are women and girls. The crazy thing is that it's some of these women who are coaching or coaxing other women to get caught up in this trafficking ring. With everything going on and the lack of protection from black men, it's a mistrust there; and that's where women step in to make us feel less guarded and more trusting.

Take R.Kelly for instance. We can crucify Robert all day for his action, which is well deserved, but we can't ignore how there were women who took some of these girls backstage, on his tour bus, and to his studio knowing exactly the agenda. Not men but WOMEN. Hell, even in Netflix's Jeff Epstein docuseries, there were women speaking on meeting other women who in fact introduced them to Epstein and were very aware of the intentions.

I say all of this to say that, we as black women, are just as responsible in the protection of black women. Whether it's protecting ourselves or protecting other black women. The buck doesn't just stop with black men. Let's really be honest and think about an experience or hearing of an experience where you knew a woman in a abusive relationship. I know I have witness where a man jumped in to protect that woman from her abuser and she jumped on the man who's helping.

UPDATE: Two years ago I used the Tory Lanez and Megan Thee Stallion controversy as an example of: How Black Women will protect Black Men over protecting ourselves. Let's just say I've grown since then, and I know better than to speak in definites about situations before they unfold. I honestly stay away from speaking definites when it involves these celebrities.

Rather, I like to go in depth of how we may have all experienced your "girlfriend" putting you in compromising situations. Who's been in a situation where you didn't feel safe but; because it was your friend you tried to go along? I know I've heard stories.

How about going with your friend to some male friends house or party, only to be left to find a ride. Or you ending up in a room alone with a random guy or guys you don't know. I can give you an experience I had in college. It was my freshman year and I had a roommate who wanted her "sneaky link" to come through. In my era at SCSU, we didn’t have many coed dorms, and the few we did have were designated for upperclassmen. So, unfortunately you had to suffer with your roommates literally fucking in the next bed over from you. It wasn't my thing but I don't judge.

However, I regress. This particular night my roommate snuck her guy in and fortunately at the time I was sleep. But just as I was getting into my REM (Really couldn't tell you) I felt a shift of weight at the bottom of my bed. I woke up and to my surprise a whole ass ni**a is sitting on my bed. Now excuse my language but that's as expressive as I can state it for you to understand the audacity.

Did I immediately get up and showed thee f*** out? Nope. I froze and sunk deeper under my covers. I did passive aggressively stretched my legs and feet to the end of the corners of my bed. I thought to myself , "Maybe he'll get the hint". After a few restless turns side to side, he eventually slithered to the floor. Still resting against my bed.

I had so many questions: "Why would he bring his homeboy?", "Did my roommate know?", "Was the homeboy expecting something?". Once the questions left the anxiety entered with; "I hope he doesn't try anything." "I wish he would leave.." It was definitely one of my most unexpected, uncomfortable positions I've been in. Fortunately enough once my roommate wrapped it up with her link, they left the same way they came...out the window. But it had me questioning and looking at my roommate sideways. Honestly, I believe it was a very absent minded and self serving judgement call. I don't even think she thought about how that could've went terribly wrong for her as well.

The point however, is she put my safety as well as hers in possible danger. I've heard and seen this too often among women and girls. A lapse of judgement comes into effect when women are trying to impress and accommodate, in most cases, men. That's not protecting Black Women. By putting your fellow sister in situations to be vulnerable to danger is not protecting her. These are conversations that we don't discuss to often openly because we're too pressed on how the Black Man should protect us.

It doesn't just end there. What about the constant behavior of treachery, belittling, and even physical violence that we see Black Women demonstrate among Black Women? We see it on some of these reality shows, even though I can say it's been improvement. I see it on social media on how we address one another. Take the Female Rapper Twitter beefs that's take place lately. Have you read the exchanges, how they reference or the lack of regards they hold for one another? But we expect Black Men to uphold a level of respect when engaging with us but we can be as disrespectful among each other.

It's like only dating men who have their own place, car and job but you stay with your mother, with no car and no job. You can't put standards on others that you don't live by. You can't feel unprotected by men and honestly say you feel protected by women, when you've had whole mothers and mother figures open their daughters up to being sexual victims. It's some real elephants in the rooms we have to address. Addressing the men to me can come off as low hanging fruit. In the sense that we've been conditioned to feel as though protection looks one way and that's through the image of a man. Women have the ability to protect too. Protection doesn't always mean playing on defense but working on offense; basically avoiding to put your sister in a situation where they would need protection.

We can't just hold men accountable and not hold ourselves accountable on the responsibility of protecting black women. That goes for mothers, grandmothers, sister and aunts who shy away from pressing charges on uncles, brothers, fathers and boyfriends; who are molesting our women and girls in the family. The women who are raising our girls to walk the streets and sell their bodies to these predators.

So yes black men, it's your duty as a man to protect us and black women it's our responsibility as well. Black men can't protect us from us. They can't protect us if we aren't taking measures to protect ourselves. We have to speak up and do action against these predators as a whole, together, as a community. We all play a part and if we all do our part black women will be protected.

Protect the Black Woman✊🏾