“April showers bring May flowers” according to the old saying; and it’s said to be named after the Roman goddess Maia, who oversaw the growth of plants. From a spiritual aspect, May brings in movement in the areas of spiritual growth and making things happen that you want to see come to fruition. So, what better time is there to manifest, do, change and be? If April is bringing in the Spring with May’s beautiful blooming flowers then we can see the parallelism with planting and watering our own seeds and watching them grow.
May symbolizes “The Return of Happiness” because it represents love and success and that means that it’s our time to use this energy to set ourselves up for our best life. It’s our time to grow like the goddess Maia’s plants. We see this time every year and maybe we aren’t truly taking advantage of the meaning and energy that it’s giving us. Of course, we do our Spring cleaning, where we pack up all of our Fall/ Winter clothing and excessive underused items. But we mustn’t forget our environment is a projection of the state of our inner self and our minds. So when we get into our “Spring Cleaning” maybe it’s a personal metaphor of what we should be doing with ourselves.
However, the month for growing, love, and success isn’t our only sign for you to get a move on to leveling ourselves up. I don’t necessarily recall what month I decided to start working on myself; but I do know some of the signs that were alarmingly present. Last year I filmed ‘4 Signs It’s Time To Grow’ where I lightly discussed these 4 signs. You can watch that clip below.
4 SIGNS IT’S TIME TO GROW
Oftentimes we barely know when it's time to exit stage left from a toxic ass relationship. We thought jealousy was cute instead of a red flag that he had unrelated baggage that he's projecting into the relationship. Vice Versa. But the signs are there and maybe we don't realize that those signs are telling us it's time to move on
Everybody's signs are different and the same. However, I'm going to tell you what we’re pretty consistent with, knowing it was time.
I used to be at my lowest at times. It didn’t matter how encouraging or supportive people were; because I kept feeling this continuous emptiness that kept rising back to the top. The emptiness comes from being or feeling disconnected. It was as if I felt like no one would be able to relate with how I was feeling. As if I was the only one in the world who felt this way. I also felt I became powerless because I could only sustain this temporary happiness. I gave up my power to feel like I had no control of whether I could be happy in life. If I happen to get a glimpse of happiness, then I should be grateful because some people don’t have that. Needless to say that I ended up depressed and feeling sorrow for myself. Until I decided that this could not be my life. What makes anyone else worthier of happiness than me? I’m worthy of happiness too!
I could never understand (at the time) why I couldn’t grasp the direction of my life. I get to be a free spirit but even when the wind blows it still has direction, a rhythm, a sway. If that wind’s purpose is to keep it nice and breezy, then breezy is what you shall get. I couldn’t decipher what I wanted to do with or in my life. I’d start one thing before I’d be on to the next. I’ve been questioned if I could possibly be struggling with an attention disorder. I mean I do but I knew that it had to be the results of what I had going on within myself. It really got to a boiling point when at one moment I was writing music and trying to kick off a music career to fashion to makeup artistry. I believe I had potential and talents to spearhead into any direction but the problem was that I couldn’t see it through. I strongly believe that I was pursuing things without a reason… a purpose. I’m sure those who’ve watched me grow through the years, have witnessed my back and forths, ups and downs. Nothing was ever consistent with me and it led me to feeling unmotivated. Basically at some point I just started to give up. However, I liked to view it as giving up on the inconsistency and lack of direction because I came back. I used that time to work on me and understood the assignment
I don’t know how many times I had to end up in the same situations with the same type of people. Do you know how exhausting that is?! However, that’s what happens when you never take the time to get the lessons. We tend to get this victim complex of feeling as if people treat us so wrong; and how life is just so cruel to us that we can’t belong. But we refuse to acknowledge why we keep attracting these same types of people and ending up in these same types of situations. It’s the cycles. The same way if you don’t learn what’s to be learned in primary school, you’ll repeat the same grade until you do. It’s the same with life. To continuously have to deal with backstabbing friends and family has to be some testament of you being the common denominator. Only when I decided to break cycles was I able to not have to find myself stuck in the same old two steps.
I got so comfortable with just existing in this world that I called my life. It got so bad that thinking about anything differently or challenging my complacency was fearful to me. What if I fail? What if people expect too much of me and I can’t deliver? What if people end up not accepting me or accepting my change? Listen, the list was long. I told myself any excuse that allowed my mind to stay in my safe space. I wanted change in my life but not at the expense of my comfort zone. I wanted to keep eating the sweets and snacks because they comforted me to accept my discomfort because of the lack of growth. Like I’ve stated before, “They aren’t called growing pains for no reason”.
Growth never feels good initially because it’s different from what you’ve come accustomed to. It’s shaking things up within you and it’s common for us to go into “fight or flight” mode when we aren’t feeling safe. It’s understandable to be fearful of the unknown but it’s unhealthy to live there.