The social media age is a constant highlight reel of what we want people to see. We want to exploit our accomplishments and celebrations to everyone, so they can see how amazing we are. There's nothing wrong with wanting others to cheer you on. It only becomes a problem when we constantly 'need' it to feel happy about our accomplishments and celebrations. It's not too often that social media shows when we have a setback. Understandably, when we're going through some hard times, social media is the last thing on your mind. Honestly, to get your mind back centered it probably should be the last thing on your mind. But we can also admit when we aren't feeling our best, social media is the first thing we shy away from.
Ironically, I called what I’m going through “A fall off'' but after further perspective of my setback I realized that sometimes you have to catch your breath and pace yourself. It isn’t necessarily a fall off if I haven’t completely derailed from my journey. Had I not been going as hard as I once was? One can determine that as a yes, but acknowledging it has helped me to get it together before I spiraled all the way down. I want people to see that it’s okay to have human moments, experiences when you’ve gone off course but it doesn’t mean give up.
It’s only right for me to be as transparent as I can be at the moment. I’m not going to be dishonest and make my readers feel as though there aren’t things I choose not to reveal. It’s not me being phony but being realer than most. Sometimes, I can’t reveal what I don’t understand or haven’t attempted to process. Fortunately, I’m here to be transparent on a set back that I’m currently regrouping from.
I can’t pinpoint exactly when the setback started but I do know that it wasn’t long after my detox. It’s like I felt as if I was on Cloud 9 and BOOM! Like a ton of bricks I was hit with one thing after the other. I started with a sinus infection, then ear infection, UTI and then Covid to top it all off. Each time I felt as though I was feeling better enough to get back in the swing of things, here I was regressing all over again. Regrettably, I have to admit that it probably started way before the sinus infection. I’m a believer that once you’re physically sick you probably were internally (Mentally and emotionally) sick first; Illness starts with the mind in my opinion. I was stressed, trying to get things done but spinning in circles rather than accomplishing anything.
Due to my procrastination, being scattered minded, and going through the trials of being a mother and wife; I may have been careless with my health; mentally and emotionally. It’s funny, because I did the 5-Day Detox for the purpose of giving me a jump start into my children going back to school. I thought it would help me not lose momentum and motivation from the work I was putting in during the Summer. But I’m slowly realizing that resting, being, living and just existing sometimes is what’s actually needed. I’m now understanding that it’s okay to pull back in order to move forward. I’m understanding that sometimes that time of slowing up is setting you up for better.
Every time I became sick that was a moment to rest and reflect. However, I chose to push through and keep going, which ultimately set me back even further. So this time, instead of jumping back in, I decided to pace myself. When it came to my eating habits I became lazy so I took baby steps in drinking my tea and smoothie in the mornings like I used to do. I cut out all other drinks besides water. I thought about doing a week detox again but I quickly shut that down because I was once again biting off more than I can chew. I’m allowing myself time to get a habit again with my water, tea and smoothie routine first.
I used to do Yoga two to three times a day but due to me physically being up and down for a month my yoga sessions were a hit or miss. Typically, I’d come in ready to jump back in but I decided to become consistent with doing yoga once a day. If, by chance, I’m up for a second session then so be it, but I’m not making it a priority. The only priority is getting my physical activity done once a day for the time being.
These small steps are going to create a routine for me that will take me back into my healthy habits of what I’ve been consistent with over the past three years.
I journal but even before the setback my journaling could have been way more consistent. I used to journal three times out of the week, at the most. Ironically, I’ve been journaling more now than ever. I’m literally journaling twice or three times a day. It’s been quite influential in my process of getting back to what I know. It allows me to purge my thoughts of what’s preventing me from moving forward and how I got to the point of becoming stagnant. Which trickles back to my procrastination and how my procrastination has a lot to do with my lack of organization, structure and consistency. That’s a story for another day.
I’m also starting a food journal. I thought it’d be helpful for me to understand why I choose the foods I choose based on my emotions. Maybe I can lean in the same way I leaned in regarding my procrastination. Finding out what triggers my eating emotionally could be what helps me keep it under control. Food, whether we want to admit it or not, gives us a sense of comfort during emotional times. A friend and I had an “aha” moment in regards to the repast at funerals and how the weeping and silence turns into laughs, memories and consoling.
Journaling can be the self motivation you need to set you up going forward.
Because I’ve seen so much improvement in my growth it gives me the incentive to keep going, keep pushing. I never thought about the results when you weigh yourself down and get burnt out because you never give yourself the space or room to rest, reflect, and prepare. I was literally trying to juggle so much that I wasn’t giving quality to anything. I wasn’t being practical about my goals and what I was seeking to accomplish.
Will I never eat unhealthy food again? Will I work out 7 days a week for the rest of my life? Will I never get writer's block? Will I never have a time where I don’t have fresh new content? Of course I will. I’m human and this is a journey, a lifestyle; not a sprint or trend. I wasn’t being practical with myself. I wasn’t preparing myself for these obstacles as if I was never going to have any. See, that was the ego in me. I had to realize I was in this for the long haul and I can pace myself; Because who was I trying to beat or out do?
I don’t have a certain deadline to get a flat stomach or become flexible and lean. I don’t have a deadline on making healthy eating habits. I don’t have a deadline on where I need to be with Bella Minded. As long as I’m consistent with my growth, my effort and time; I will meet every goal I put my mind to. It doesn’t have to look a certain way and it might not come at a time I want it. But it will come and be right on time.
I understand that I have to make decisions, priorities and sacrifices that are going to be realistic to my daily life and living, or else I may find myself spiraling even further.
Remember it’s not a setback without a setup. Use the time as a way to come back better than you were; further than you were; and stronger than you were.