How can Black women find refuge and empowerment in 'Attracting Your Tribe'?
- Melissa Renée
- Mar 17
- 4 min read
Do we truly know the effects of being a black woman on social media?
As a black woman, I think it’s safe to say that dealing with microaggressions, sexism, and blatant racism is normal. Should it be? No, but you can say it comes with the territory of being a black woman. We’re so accustomed to facing these biases on the job, at school, and out in public that it has become second nature that some of us either ignore it or have become so guarded and triggered by it. So even when we believe we have a level of security within the comforts of our home while we’re either on our phone or tablet scrolling on one of the many social media platforms, here goes the appropriation, stereotypes, and racism rearing its ugly head there too.
Of course it’s our choice to put the phone down but we have to also consider that social media is the reality of modern times. We’re asked to engage in social media in one form or another whether it’s through your job, promoting your business or career, or keeping in touch with friends and loved ones. The easy solution is to avoid it but the better solution is understanding how social media can have a negative impact on black women and knowing how to mindfully navigate and use social media as a black woman.
NEGATIVITY BLACK WOMEN FACE ON SOCIAL MEDIA
It’s difficult nowadays to engage on social media without internet bullies such as trolls. However, imagine minding your own business and posting an image to your page to celebrate loving you, only to have a racist troll share your picture and compare it to a gorilla. Well that’s exactly what happened to Sophi aka @okayysophi. And I’m sure many other black women can share a story or two of the constant race baiting that goes on on social media.
Black women having to constantly be told by non black women why black men desire them more than us because we’re too aggressive, opinionated, or lack the desired aesthetic. The rage baiting that promotes that constant divisiveness between us, black men, and other black women. We deal with enough divisiveness in our daily reality, we definitely don’t need it here. So what do we do? Stop being on social media apps altogether?
NAVIGATING THROUGH THE NEGATIVITY AS A BLACK WOMAN
I don’t think leaving social media altogether is entirely the answer. I do however believe we need to move with a level of mindfulness and intentions when we are confronted with such negativity. I remember I used to drain my energy tirelessly going back and forth with bigoted racists and for what? Initially I wanted to speak my mind and grievances of how this behavior isn’t condoned but I can’t control this person’s behavior. I don’t even know who this person is. I started to realize that I control the energy of what I see going down my timeline. If someone’s post or comment is triggering and has a negative impact on me then get rid of them with a simple block. What’s more important here, having the last word or protecting my peace? I speak more in detail on ‘How To Protect My Peace On Social Media’ and break down 7 ways you can navigate through the negative effects of social media.
WHERE DO BLACK WOMEN FIND REFUGE AND EMPOWERMENT
As a black woman, I think it’s important to follow and engage with like-minded women. Social media can be very toxic and it’s helpful to have that support that can anchor you into reality. Someone to remind you that this is just social media and doesn’t reflect the reality of what’s all around you. Share and interact with women who will uplift you, inspire you, and celebrate you to balance out the negativity that can come from social media. Lean into these women to create that safe space among all the pollution and noise. And if you don’t know how or where to start then join my online community right here >> bellaminded.com/attractyourtribe. I created this community specifically for black women to have a sacred space and safe haven to find authentic connections away from the divisive and offensive interactions online. You can network and build a genuine connection with women from all walks of life. In this community we get to share our vulnerabilities in the security of one another without the distractions of feeling judged or attacked. We are all a reflection of one another so it’s something we can learn and teach each other that encourages evolving and growth.
And this isn’t just a community but a movement. We’re going to promote you having all you desire out of life through our monthly themed workshops and lives. We are here for a purpose and that’s to support one another while facilitating connections outside of our sacred space and within our communities. Women are essential to our communities. The flow of the heart that connects, nurtures, and guides our children and men in our community. We want a better life, a better world, then it starts with us.
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